Day 35 -
I was confused because according to my counting of days of Lent, Good Friday should be here in about 5 days! But I think I included Sundays into my count. Anyways, we're close to the end!
I'm temped to just say that Lent has been going well and things are good. But I think that has become my default answer for everything. It's easy to say that everything is good and classes are going well because nobody questions you further. If you say that things are not going so well and something is wrong, then you've gotten yourself into a longer conversation and you become vulnerable. What student has time to dig into his or her heart and figure out what is going wrong?
These past weeks have just been busy and filled with work, meetings, class, church, small group, etc. I feel like seldom do I have time to rest. The few days that I can rest, a random group meeting pops up or my list of things to do reminds me that I cannot rest - there are better things I should be doing with my time.
In the midst of things, it's easy to forget about Lent and forget the meaning of Lent. Though I am following my church's daily devotionals, I don't feel any closer to God. Things are not getting any easier. If anything, lack of classes due to Capstone (11 hours less of class per week) has prompted me to become lazy. I don't want to do any work. Some days I'd rather just spend time with my friends from fellowship and church or just listen to Christian music and hide out. I don't want to go out and be challenged to love those who are difficult to love.
I hope the things I am learning through devotions are not just becoming new knowledge to me. Just knowing that Jesus Christ died for my sins is very different from actually living out a purposeful life because Jesus Christ offers me a new life apart from sin and allows me to enter into a relationship with God, who has a plan for me.
