how do we know

create in me a clean heart, oh God
and renew a right spirit within me.
cast me not away from thy presence oh Lord
take not thy holy spirit from me
restore unto me, the joy of thy salvation
and renew a right spirit within me

why do we fall so easily? and so quickly?

give a little, gain a lot

dear boys and girls, yes, it is finally the season of Lent. this is when we give something up and take something up in remembrance of when Jesus was tempted by Satan in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. each year, i give something up that takes up a lot of my time. i believe one year i gave up aim and in the end, i realized that i did not need aim. i hardly ever use aim now. so i suppose it is good. but...maybe i replace something else for aim. facebook...?

so i've been going to Highrock Brookline since coming to Boston. and to tell you the truth, i love it. i love the small, homey feel of Highrock and i love that it is nearby. i love Pastor Josh's sermons and i love the new RENOVATE sermon series we're studying. it is great. i can definitely apply everything to my life. and it really gets me thinking.

this past week, Pastor Josh spoke about the young rich man who asked Jesus what he had to do in order to enter heaven. Jesus told him to give up all his possessions. however, this man was successful and he had so many possessions, so he walked away form Jesus. yes, God wanted this man to give up everything he had - but that does not mean he is asking us to give away all our possessions. God is asking us to give up what is at the center of our hearts - distracting us and keeping us from furthering out relationships with God.

for Lent, i thought about giving up my pride. but that is almost an impossible task. i suppose it is. but what i really want is to appreciate God and give him the glory. everything in my life comes from God and i want to redirect everything back to him. since giving up my pride is not concrete, i decided to go another direction. i will start to carry around my bible, everywhere i go. and i was attempt to read it once a day when i am outside of my dorm. i think this will really help me remember that God is great and he makes all things possible.

in giving to God and investing our lives in pleasing him, he will reward us with his glory.

will you draw near

breathe on me now - kathryn scott

When My Soul Has Cried Its Tears
And My Heart Begins To Faint
Will You Draw Near
Will You Meet With Me

When My Days Are Filled With Longing
And My Spirit Groans And Waits
Will You Draw Near
Will You Meet With Me

I'm Calling And Waiting
Your Presence Lord Is Life To Me

Breathe On Me Now As I Bow Down
I'm Desperate Lord For More Of You
Come Satisfy Until I
Am Even More In Need Of You

When My Dreams Have Been Forgotten
And My Hope Begins To Fade
Will You Draw Near
Will You Meet With Me

When My Days Are Filled With Searching
And My Strength Has Given Way
Will You Draw Near
Will You Meet With Me

run, run for your life!

today, i can proudly announce that i conquered one of my greatest fears of all time. today, i went to the fitrec and i did the elliptical for 30 minutes with a cool down run for 5 minutes. and i also did the steps thing for about 10 minutes. POINT IS, i walked in there like a pro, and i came out a pro. now i will gladly go work out again.
God Bless, fellows. i am on the run.

"these words are my own, from my heart flow"

time for some new years resolutions? i think last year i was pretty good about keeping mine. well to tell you the truth, i don't remember exactly what is was, but i'm pretty sure i wanted to make sure to write in my prayer journal every night, no matter how late, no matter what circumstance i was in, no matter what.

this year, i'm pretty sure i want make sure to read my Bible everyday. though it sounds so simple, reading my Bible has been one of the most challenging tasks in my life. and to me, sometimes it does seem like a task - or even a burden. it's like homework and i am often reluctant to pick up my Bible and read from it. maybe i feel like it is pointless, how does reading a passage or two each day make any difference? i definitely don't feel any changes and it's frustrating. however, time and time again, when i do open my Bible, i am never disappointed. He is so wonderful and His words are so good. you'd think that's motivation enough to keep reading my Bible. but it's not. i'm human and i'm imperfect. and i'm lazy. so this year, i will try my best to discipline myself and see how that goes.

i know i want to grow, but i don't know how badly i want it.