clowns, jokers, and facepainting

so this may seem just silly to you. since you probably didn't expect this from me. but anyways, you know heath ledger? the dead man who played the joker in dark knight? well, i NEVER knew who he was, what he looked like, etc. you know, judging by his name alone, i thought of this crazy man who was insane and overdosed because hes a druggie and you know... however, i was WRONG! hard to imagine. anyways, today i was going to msn.com to check my email at hotmail and the front page had an article titled "What Fascinated Us In 2008". well, what a fascinating title! and wow, what a stunning stud attracting my attention! so i clicked on the link and tried to skim the article to find more info about this stud when TOUT-UN-COUP his name was heath ledger. yes the joker. yes the man i've been most afraid of for the past like 5 months. and you know, i was sad he died. because hes so....stunning as one could say, but also its sad because he was so young (28). and his birthday was april 4th. two days before mine. so now i am a bit confused. because it is really difficult for me to think of him without associating him with the joker. so hopefully i can finally overcome my fear of the character heath ledger played because that character is fictional. and also, hes dead.

uuhh, so yesterday i went to my mom's work place to get free food (it was for some holiday thing). anyhow, when we walked in the front entrance, there was this desk with a facepainting sign on it and facepaints. but, there was nobody there. so we laughed.

just in case you were wondering (because some people are nosy like that), i have about two more essays to finish for my january first deadlines and about two to edit. and then after that i have two more new essays to write. so total that up math genius! (2 new + 2 edits + 2 new = 4 new, 2 edits).

i want to be thankful

happy thanksgiving, and happy birthday mom!

so today my cousin got me hooked on the show 24. i watched the first four episodes of the third season and its just so good. and i also ate turkey.


i like to think about the goodness of the Lord
He gives me everything i need and so much more
so i just want to lift my hands
and say that i love Him
i just want to lift my heart in praise

i want to be thankful,
i want to be grateful,
i want to remember everything that the Lord has done
i want to be thankful
i want to be grateful
i wanna be, i wanna be, i wanna be.

maybe this christmas

I recently began watching season 1 of the OC (because it is on tv everyday when i come home from school) and it was Christmas time. Basically, Seth Cohen is half jewish (his dad's side) and so instead of just celebrating Christmas or just celebrating Hanukkah, he created this holiday called Chrismukkah which is combining the two. Anyhow, the song at the end of the episode was really good, and its about Christmas. And now i cannot wait for Christmas (well and thanksgiving!).

Maybe This Christmas - Ron Sexsmith

Maybe this Christmas will mean something more
Maybe this year love will appear
Deeper than ever before
And maybe forgiveness will ask us to call
Someone we love
Someone we’ve lost
For reasons we can’t quite recall
Mmm, maybe this Christmas

Maybe there’ll be an open door
Maybe the star that shined before
Will shine once more, ohhh

Mmmmmmm, mmmmmmmm

And maybe this Christmas will find us at last
In heaven, at peace
Prayed for at least
For the love we’ve been shown in the past
Maybe this Christmas
Maybe this Christmas

finally here

hiii...sorry but i'm too excited. i can finally drive on my own :)

You are Glorious

so lyf retreat...i'd rather not say too much. however, i do want to say sorry for being so selfish.

this past weekend, i felt empty and lonely. i wanted to reach out and bond with the younger girls but the emotions over took me. i suppose i was afraid that my last year at lyf retreat would be horrible and nothing would happen. so instead of turning to God, i ran away to please my own desires - to MAKE my own lyf retreat experience good. and it actually worked...i was happy for a while. but then i realized that this is not what God wanted me to do. instead of spending time with the younger girls and my accountability group, i spent time with other people doing things we could have done back at home.

sunday night, things seemed to fall apart and it hit me that my accountability group was not close at all! i regret not spending more time with my girls because we really needed to. right now, i just feel crappy about lots of things. but one thing i feel good about is the reflection time. this whole weekend, i had a ton of things bundled up inside myself. and i wanted to let them out. but i couldn't. and you know, i still can't let everything out. mostly because i feel like people won't understand me. anyways, monday morning i tried to get out what i've wanted to get out for a long time. but still, i couldn't find the words...and i'm still trying to find the words and find a way to get out my thoughts.

one thing i learned is that if you bundle up all your feelings and don't let them out, it can take an eternity to get them all out. i feel like even if i have all the time in the world, i will still be unable to let everything out. which is why we need to turn to God. He can take away some of our burdens and He is always there for us.



You make everything good
Everything wonderful
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view
Let's forever sing
You make everything pure
Everything beautiful
You make me see the only
thing that's true
It's you

"You" - Jaci Velasquez