this post i would like to dedicate to some of my favorite seniors in the whole world. i'm not going to mention any names, but you know who you are.
last night was the AACF Senior Appreciation Night. it was really exciting in helping out and preparing for this event. each grade was to prepare a presentation for the seniors. my freshmen class decided to sing The Prayer by Josh Groban/Celine Dion, dance to 'Nsync's 'Bye Bye Bye', and make a short video message. the sophomores were amazing. they had this whole theme of awards night, and they create about 6+ short films/videos which were edited by COMM students. so it was really good. i think the juniors made a video for the seniors of people saying first impressions or one word descriptions of the seniors. all in all, the night was a success and it was really moving to hear how the senior class has really affected us all and how AACF has impacted so many of the seniors' lives.
i think i want to say a few things i couldn't say in my message. but where to begin...
you guys have been really great and really good to us (everyone in AACF). you have all helped make a smooth transition for me into college. my sister was not the only one who took care of me and watched out for me. you guys just took us in and loved us - pretty much to the fullest. you encouraged us and helped our spiritual growth. i'm inspired by all of you - by your dedication to the fellowship and by your hard work. i know that college is really busy, but you all took a large chunk out of your time to get to know us and mentor us. i look up to you guys and i hope that i can learn to treat people like how you guys treated us freshmen. i know sometimes we can be annoying and really needy, but you guys have always been there for us. you open up your homes to us and you feed us and you love us. i don't think i've never actually shown you or told you how much i appreciate what you've done. thank you so much for everything you've given to us and everything you've sacrificed for us. thank you for being patient with us, for being persistent in reaching out to us, and for being our role models. i know that i will miss you guys so much when you're gone. but i know that God has a master plan for all of your and He will use you all to further His kingdom. i know that God can count on all of you because of the things you have done here at BU. though i've only known you guys for one year, i feel like i've known you all for a lifetime. freshmen year would not have been the same without you. you guys are a model for how God's children should be. i know that not everyone is perfect, and you guys are not perfect either. but you guys strive to be Christ-like and that is what's important.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
when i replace the word Love with your names, i am astonished by how many qualities of love you guys possess. i see how you are patient and kind. i see how you are not envious and you do not boast. you are not rude, you are not self-seeking, you are not easily angered. you keep not records of wrongs. you rejoice in the truth. you always protect, always trust, always hope, and always persevere.
i guess it hasn't hit me yet, that you guys are really leaving. when it does hit me, i think i will cry forever. i don't want to say goodbye. but at the same time, i know that it is not goodbye forever. i will pray for all of you - for your futures in serving God. i know wherever you all go, many hearts will be touched and many people will be moved. thanks again.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
you are our king
This past semester at BU, I had been really confused about which fellowship to attend and where I could fit in. It's not that I felt lonely and I wanted to fit in. Rather, I felt like I had something to offer but I did not know how God wanted me to use it, and where He wanted me to use it. I stopped going to AACF (Asian American Christian Fellowship) because I was frustrated with the lack of commitment I saw and the disunity that was separating everyone.
First semester I had gone to every core meeting and every large group meeting and every freshmen small group meeting. But slowly I did not see spiritual growth around me and I became discouraged. I felt the missional core meetings were a waste of time and small group was just a place to socialize. We only looked at the scripture once and we probably had 10+ meetings. Instead of helping me grow spiritually, I felt AACF was slowly sucking the energy out of me.
After I lost interest in AACF, I started attending InterVarsity Multi-Ethnic Fellowship. I fell in love immediately because of the unity and the structure that was missing in AACF. I felt loved and part of the family. Every was so dedicated and devoted to the large groups and the small groups. Missional Core was a place where all the different groups gathered, talked, and encouraged. Our leader would ask us challenging questions which caused us to think about our faith. I decided to fill out the leader survey to join next semester.
Though I felt comfortable where I was, I kept feeling doubts and guilt for leaving AACF. I felt like I had just given up and taken the easier way out. I knew there was need at AACF but I didn't want to return.
Last weekend, I went to a lock-in with AACF. I really only wanted to go because I missed having lock-ins and I wanted to get away from studying and school and stress. I don't know when or how I realized this...well I didn't. God told me, some time that weekend, where I could use my gifts. He showed me that AACF was not hopeless, as I was beginning to think. I realized that I did run away when things got rough and it was stupid of me to do that. I was angry and frustrated with those who did not commit to the fellowship and yet, I was one of those people. When large group got boring and missional core was unfruitful (in my eyes), I abandoned everything.
Though I'm still not 100% sure, I am strongly considering returning to AACF because I know there is more need there and I know exactly how I can help out. I still have doubts and fears about returning, but I want to make a commitment and help others make one to. I think this is where God wants me to be. And I will do whatever to serve Him.
"Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our king"
First semester I had gone to every core meeting and every large group meeting and every freshmen small group meeting. But slowly I did not see spiritual growth around me and I became discouraged. I felt the missional core meetings were a waste of time and small group was just a place to socialize. We only looked at the scripture once and we probably had 10+ meetings. Instead of helping me grow spiritually, I felt AACF was slowly sucking the energy out of me.
After I lost interest in AACF, I started attending InterVarsity Multi-Ethnic Fellowship. I fell in love immediately because of the unity and the structure that was missing in AACF. I felt loved and part of the family. Every was so dedicated and devoted to the large groups and the small groups. Missional Core was a place where all the different groups gathered, talked, and encouraged. Our leader would ask us challenging questions which caused us to think about our faith. I decided to fill out the leader survey to join next semester.
Though I felt comfortable where I was, I kept feeling doubts and guilt for leaving AACF. I felt like I had just given up and taken the easier way out. I knew there was need at AACF but I didn't want to return.
Last weekend, I went to a lock-in with AACF. I really only wanted to go because I missed having lock-ins and I wanted to get away from studying and school and stress. I don't know when or how I realized this...well I didn't. God told me, some time that weekend, where I could use my gifts. He showed me that AACF was not hopeless, as I was beginning to think. I realized that I did run away when things got rough and it was stupid of me to do that. I was angry and frustrated with those who did not commit to the fellowship and yet, I was one of those people. When large group got boring and missional core was unfruitful (in my eyes), I abandoned everything.
Though I'm still not 100% sure, I am strongly considering returning to AACF because I know there is more need there and I know exactly how I can help out. I still have doubts and fears about returning, but I want to make a commitment and help others make one to. I think this is where God wants me to be. And I will do whatever to serve Him.
"Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our king"
Saturday, April 10, 2010
frogs times ten
for some reason, i am in a really good mood right now. and it's not that i'm full...or i just bought something new. it's a fulfilling joy that is resting on my heart. i'm not happy, my heart is happy. maybe i have a high from something (yeah no, it's not what you're thinking - i don't drink/do drugs). anyways, yesterday i was not feelings so great, but right now i feel satisfied, as if all my needs are met. i know it's God work right here.
yesterday til today, my fellowship (AACF) had a lock-in at Highrock Arlington, a church in Arlington. i was really excited to go because i love lock-ins and also, i was leading games :) anyways i was also happy because i was finally going to see my church's (Highrock Brookline's) mother church.
before leaving, i was in a rush to get packed, take a shower, eat an early dinner, and finish some homework. i had planned everything out, but i ended up leaving about an hour to do everything. me and a friend were supposed to meet everyone else at Marsh Chapel, which is a 15 minute walk from where i live. we left our dorm at the time we were supposed to meet people. and for some reason, i was just in a really bad mood. it didn't help that my friend was also having a bad day. oh, did i mention...it was RAINING?!! (i really don't like the rain. but the flowers need water. so i can't do anything about it.)
so the whole time i was grumpy, and of course i felt bad, but i was so frustrated. i had all this anger built up in me and i didn't know what to do with it. i didn't know where to empty it out. i wanted to walk quickly to Marsh but my friend wanted to take the T. i knew it was a bad idea because the T is always late and it would probably take the same amount of time as walking. and i didn't have my T card with me. well, my friend wanted to take it, and she said she'd pay for me. so i just decided to cooperate and listen to her. well, when the T came, she didn't have enough money on the card for me and I was just so pissed off. (the T was also really crowded) i thought it would have been so much easier to just walk. i know i get angry at the stupidest things, but at the time, my anger and frustration just kept building and building. finally, we arrived (late) but it wasn't a big deal. i couldn't talk to anyone because i felt like i would just break down.
as we were walking to the car, i thought "God, why can't I be more like Your son? Why is it so hard for me to love? Why do I have so little tolerance for others?" I was ashamed of my weakness and my lack of understanding. I wanted to cry and ask God to help me. I knew I didn't want this to be my attitude for the whole lock-in. I had been looking forward to it so much. So i prayed that God would soothe my soul and give my heart a greater capacity to love. I asked Him to fill me with joy so that other people would not be affected by my negativity.
after we arrived (and after a nap), i felt refreshed. all the negativity was gone. just like that. i even tried to think back at everything that made me angry...and it had no effect on me at all! God had just taken it all away, and i was filled with joy and happiness.
the whole lock-in was so much fun. we played mafia, many other games, and ONE FROG. okay, it is so funny. but basically, there is a steady beat going: slap your knees, clap your hands, slap, clap, slap, clap, etc. the phrase that gets repeated is: "one frog, in the water, ker-plunk". each person says one part of the phrase and the number of frogs increases by 1 each time. so: one frog, in the water, ker-plunk! two frogs, two frogs, in the water, in the water, ker-plunk, ker-plunk! three frogs, three frogs, three frogs, in the water, in the water, in the water, ker-plunk, ker-plunk, ker-plunk! and etc. you get the point. it literally took us 4 HOURS to get to 10 frogs. it was 3:30 by the time we finished. and now i have a giant purple bruise on my leg. (gross!) but it's a nice reminder of the trip :)
so i feel good, i feel great. i love when God makes me feel this way. this is the feeling i hope my friends will get some day.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." - Psalm 34:8
yesterday til today, my fellowship (AACF) had a lock-in at Highrock Arlington, a church in Arlington. i was really excited to go because i love lock-ins and also, i was leading games :) anyways i was also happy because i was finally going to see my church's (Highrock Brookline's) mother church.
before leaving, i was in a rush to get packed, take a shower, eat an early dinner, and finish some homework. i had planned everything out, but i ended up leaving about an hour to do everything. me and a friend were supposed to meet everyone else at Marsh Chapel, which is a 15 minute walk from where i live. we left our dorm at the time we were supposed to meet people. and for some reason, i was just in a really bad mood. it didn't help that my friend was also having a bad day. oh, did i mention...it was RAINING?!! (i really don't like the rain. but the flowers need water. so i can't do anything about it.)
so the whole time i was grumpy, and of course i felt bad, but i was so frustrated. i had all this anger built up in me and i didn't know what to do with it. i didn't know where to empty it out. i wanted to walk quickly to Marsh but my friend wanted to take the T. i knew it was a bad idea because the T is always late and it would probably take the same amount of time as walking. and i didn't have my T card with me. well, my friend wanted to take it, and she said she'd pay for me. so i just decided to cooperate and listen to her. well, when the T came, she didn't have enough money on the card for me and I was just so pissed off. (the T was also really crowded) i thought it would have been so much easier to just walk. i know i get angry at the stupidest things, but at the time, my anger and frustration just kept building and building. finally, we arrived (late) but it wasn't a big deal. i couldn't talk to anyone because i felt like i would just break down.
as we were walking to the car, i thought "God, why can't I be more like Your son? Why is it so hard for me to love? Why do I have so little tolerance for others?" I was ashamed of my weakness and my lack of understanding. I wanted to cry and ask God to help me. I knew I didn't want this to be my attitude for the whole lock-in. I had been looking forward to it so much. So i prayed that God would soothe my soul and give my heart a greater capacity to love. I asked Him to fill me with joy so that other people would not be affected by my negativity.
after we arrived (and after a nap), i felt refreshed. all the negativity was gone. just like that. i even tried to think back at everything that made me angry...and it had no effect on me at all! God had just taken it all away, and i was filled with joy and happiness.
the whole lock-in was so much fun. we played mafia, many other games, and ONE FROG. okay, it is so funny. but basically, there is a steady beat going: slap your knees, clap your hands, slap, clap, slap, clap, etc. the phrase that gets repeated is: "one frog, in the water, ker-plunk". each person says one part of the phrase and the number of frogs increases by 1 each time. so: one frog, in the water, ker-plunk! two frogs, two frogs, in the water, in the water, ker-plunk, ker-plunk! three frogs, three frogs, three frogs, in the water, in the water, in the water, ker-plunk, ker-plunk, ker-plunk! and etc. you get the point. it literally took us 4 HOURS to get to 10 frogs. it was 3:30 by the time we finished. and now i have a giant purple bruise on my leg. (gross!) but it's a nice reminder of the trip :)
so i feel good, i feel great. i love when God makes me feel this way. this is the feeling i hope my friends will get some day.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." - Psalm 34:8
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
you're all i need
hi world,
i'm glad and sad (can you believe it? at the same time!) that lent is over. usually, before i begin my homework, i try to stall as long as i can, and procrastinate just a little longer. usually this last minute procrastination lasts for about half an hour. well, Sunday came along, and i realized that i could go on facebook again. though i didn't really care all that much. so Sunday afternoon i started stalling and playing random games and checking all three of my emails about 3 times each. then i was sad i had to begin my homework. only about half an hour in to my work did i realize that i was allowed back on facebook - the social connection network. so i checked my facebook (it was really exciting) and i played farmville ONE LAST TIME. and believe it or not....i EX-ED OUT! yeah. i completely deleted the application. i also deleted my cafe world application. i felt so brave and great. k, end of lent schpeal (did you know it's not a real word? some random guy made it up and now it is slang for "short-rant" or "talk"....i think).
So Good Friday, I didn't go to any service. It felt weird because I have traditionally gone to a service and without going, I felt like I missed out on Good Friday. It was such a good day that I missed out on. Sad. Well, I didn't exactly miss out on all the good stuff :) InterVarsity was holding a service auction as a fundraiser for missions trips (especially to the Dominican Republic - if you want, you can pray for the two students who are going on the trip. it is in may i believe). for the auction, i auctioned off a three course meal from the GSU (George Sherman Union) food court area. Gosh it was so much fun. I bid on so many things :) Just for fun of course. Funny story:
two of my friends (Dan and Ran) were auctioning off a dinner called: "dining with dan and ran". cute huh? well, i didn't really want it because i could care less if i dined with them :P (just kidding. they are nice people). so my three friends, Micaela.Helen.Jerusha, were bidding. and i got a little excited. so i decided to join them. we were bidding against these other people and i really wanted to win. we were all yelling out numbers until the price reached 39 dollars. the other group of people yelled 41! and we were so nervous because none of us could do the math (to divide the price among four people). the announcer people started saying like: "41 going once, going twice...." then i figured out that 44 was divisible by 4. so raising my paddle high and proud, i screamed out $44! and WE WON. yeah that's right. thanks to my asian background and my math nerdyness i figured it out.
updates on my life:
1. my new resolution, though it's not new years, is to finish reading through the Bible from cover-to-cover once before i turn 20. i have about a year. though i started this a couple weeks ago. so far reading has been slow, i read about two chapters a night because i have a lot of work to do. therefore, i am still in genesis. i'm just excited to do this. i think that after i am done, i will feel super accomplished and maybe i'll try to read it again. maybe i can make it a habbit to read the whole Bible once a year :)
2. i dont' know if you know, you might not know, depending on who you are (i sure don't know who you are because i don't know who reads my blog), today i turned 19. the end.
3. the weather is nice.
4. woolite is laying next to me.
<3
i'm glad and sad (can you believe it? at the same time!) that lent is over. usually, before i begin my homework, i try to stall as long as i can, and procrastinate just a little longer. usually this last minute procrastination lasts for about half an hour. well, Sunday came along, and i realized that i could go on facebook again. though i didn't really care all that much. so Sunday afternoon i started stalling and playing random games and checking all three of my emails about 3 times each. then i was sad i had to begin my homework. only about half an hour in to my work did i realize that i was allowed back on facebook - the social connection network. so i checked my facebook (it was really exciting) and i played farmville ONE LAST TIME. and believe it or not....i EX-ED OUT! yeah. i completely deleted the application. i also deleted my cafe world application. i felt so brave and great. k, end of lent schpeal (did you know it's not a real word? some random guy made it up and now it is slang for "short-rant" or "talk"....i think).
So Good Friday, I didn't go to any service. It felt weird because I have traditionally gone to a service and without going, I felt like I missed out on Good Friday. It was such a good day that I missed out on. Sad. Well, I didn't exactly miss out on all the good stuff :) InterVarsity was holding a service auction as a fundraiser for missions trips (especially to the Dominican Republic - if you want, you can pray for the two students who are going on the trip. it is in may i believe). for the auction, i auctioned off a three course meal from the GSU (George Sherman Union) food court area. Gosh it was so much fun. I bid on so many things :) Just for fun of course. Funny story:
two of my friends (Dan and Ran) were auctioning off a dinner called: "dining with dan and ran". cute huh? well, i didn't really want it because i could care less if i dined with them :P (just kidding. they are nice people). so my three friends, Micaela.Helen.Jerusha, were bidding. and i got a little excited. so i decided to join them. we were bidding against these other people and i really wanted to win. we were all yelling out numbers until the price reached 39 dollars. the other group of people yelled 41! and we were so nervous because none of us could do the math (to divide the price among four people). the announcer people started saying like: "41 going once, going twice...." then i figured out that 44 was divisible by 4. so raising my paddle high and proud, i screamed out $44! and WE WON. yeah that's right. thanks to my asian background and my math nerdyness i figured it out.
updates on my life:
1. my new resolution, though it's not new years, is to finish reading through the Bible from cover-to-cover once before i turn 20. i have about a year. though i started this a couple weeks ago. so far reading has been slow, i read about two chapters a night because i have a lot of work to do. therefore, i am still in genesis. i'm just excited to do this. i think that after i am done, i will feel super accomplished and maybe i'll try to read it again. maybe i can make it a habbit to read the whole Bible once a year :)
2. i dont' know if you know, you might not know, depending on who you are (i sure don't know who you are because i don't know who reads my blog), today i turned 19. the end.
3. the weather is nice.
4. woolite is laying next to me.
<3
Monday, March 22, 2010
stranger than fiction
(i've never actually watched that movie before...)
strange how time means something so different depending on where you are, and who you're with. so this weekend i went home to watch cynthia's dance competition. (she is really good!) and i had a lot of work to do. yesterday when i looked at the clock and it said 9:30, i was nervous because i thought i didn't have enough time to finish my work. today when i got back to BU around 9:30, i felt so relaxed and normal because i suppose i normally do/start work this late anyways. i don't know if it all makes sense. but it does and it doesn't to me. i don't understand why i feel so different. but i still prefer being at home. i love my blanky that i cannot bring to school with me. it is falling apart and i'm afraid that the next time i wash it, all i will have left is a few pieces here and there. hopefully God will provide me with a new one :) and hopefully it will smell as nice as my ya ya bae bae. (ducky blanket).
strange how time means something so different depending on where you are, and who you're with. so this weekend i went home to watch cynthia's dance competition. (she is really good!) and i had a lot of work to do. yesterday when i looked at the clock and it said 9:30, i was nervous because i thought i didn't have enough time to finish my work. today when i got back to BU around 9:30, i felt so relaxed and normal because i suppose i normally do/start work this late anyways. i don't know if it all makes sense. but it does and it doesn't to me. i don't understand why i feel so different. but i still prefer being at home. i love my blanky that i cannot bring to school with me. it is falling apart and i'm afraid that the next time i wash it, all i will have left is a few pieces here and there. hopefully God will provide me with a new one :) and hopefully it will smell as nice as my ya ya bae bae. (ducky blanket).
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