He is good

our patience and love are so limited. but the Father's love endures forever and His patience extends to the ends of the earth. He gives us comfort and He offers us a life of joy and peace.

just a simple thank you

tonight at aacf, we did so many "random acts of appreciation". at first i was kind of thinking this was a good idea but a silly thing to do. i really doubted that the people we handed things out to would be that appreciative. however, by the end of the night, i was proven wrong and it was actually really fun to do. i want to do it more often because some people just never hear the words thank you near enough.

so this is basically what everyone did:
1. handed out candy to random people passing by
2. handed out candy with sticky notes
3. posted sticky notes with nice messages all around the library
4. walked around with a poster that says FAMILY and people write what they think
5. hand made 'thank you' cards for security guards at all the dorms

so walking back to hojo (the dorm i live in) i started getting nervous about giving this thank you card to the security guard. one, i was worried it would be one of the security guards i had trouble with in the past. two, i was scared that he would not accept the card or just look at it and toss it aside. three, i was worried that others would see what i was doing and judge me - though why would that bother me? anyways, i got back to hojo and i was relieved to see one security guard i never really talked to before. so i walked right up to the front desk and just stated: "hi, i'm part of a student organization on campus and we made this thank you card for all the security guards here to show our appreciation." immediately, the guard smiles and took the card and opened it right up. he didn't look up to check when i swiped my card (which is unusual because they normally stare us down). just seeing him happy made me so happy! i was smiling all the way up the stairs.

just thought i'd share this moment because it was pure joy and happiness. it just erupted from inside me. and it was great.

refiner's fire

tonight i went to a 'family fun night' at my pastor's house. it was exactly how it is described - a night full of fun with your family. we had a home-cooked meal together, played a game of pictionary, and had a time of worship and prayer. this whole week was a bit stressful so it was nice to be in a relaxing environment away from campus.

walking to my room, i heard music coming from the room i was passing by. i was really curious to see what instruments were playing and what songs the person/people were playing and singing to. to my surprise, it was a group of guys worshiping the Lord. they were singing and playing Refiner's Fire. i was so temped to knock on the door and sing with them. i'm sure that if someone else was with me, i would have knocked on the door without hesitation.

i know i write about songs a lot, or at least include a song with each post. i don't do it on purpose, but i realize that God really speaks to me through song lyrics. and this song i absolutely love. we are God's creation and it hit me the other day, just how far from perfect we are. seldom am i not judgmental, prideful, or sinful. but God loves us nonetheless. he has cleansed us by the blood of Christ and we are set apart from the world because of him. it is so difficult these days to be set apart from the world without insulting or offending someone or being judged. we are constantly trying to fit in and blend in with our peers. i know i do that a lot because i don't want to draw attention. but if we're just blending in and living lukewarm lives, then we're not fulfilling our purpose and God's will for us. if we don't do our part, why do we expect God to do his part? though he does do his part because he can't help but love us. it is his character to be loving, forgiving, holy, and merciful.

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within

i can only imagine

let's just say today was not an ideal day.

i overslept and woke up around 11:30pm, took a shower, ate sponge cake and an apple for lunch, realized i missed the bus to go apple picking with real life (i had been looking forward to this event ALL WEEK), ended up watching two movies: "28 days" and "the proposal", ate dinner in my room around 4:30, did a little hw, etc. i literally did not step one foot outside my building.

it might not seem so, but staying inside all day is pretty depressing. i've been in my pajamas and sitting in my chair.

this past Sunday (10-10-10), my pastor talked about "Church". this was an interesting sermon because recently in a core meeting, someone brought up the question of "why do we go to church?" if someone asked you why YOU go to church, or why THEY should go to church, what would you say? part of the reason i go to church is for community - though that's not all the church offers. we were created and designed to live as one body in community. and when we're alone, we feel lonely, like something is wrong or off. (though spending time alone sometimes to reflect and clear our heads is good too.) i guess today just felt like a wasted day and i realized just how important community is. there was an experiment done to show this. the lifespan of a smoker living in a close knit community was significantly longer than a healthy person living on his/her own. you could conclude that it is better to smoke and live in a community than eat healthy and live alone. (but seriously, just live a healthy life surrounded by those you love.)

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

can't always get what you want

I feel like I am looking and searching for opportunities but they are not showing up. I try to create opportunities for myself and they end up failing. I want to know what God wants me to do, and I want answers now. But I can't simply ask for answers; nothing is that simple. I just wish that there was someone who could tell me what to do and how to do it. I wish I could just make up my mind. I wish things were easier.